Guest-post by Sunanda J. Chatterjee on “The evil of female infanticide”.

Fighting for Tara by Sunanda J. Chatterjee

Question: ​At the core of the evil of female infanticide lies the “Dowry”. How far do you agree with the above statement?
Answer by Sunanda J. Chatterjee:

Female infanticide is a grievous sin and occurs in many parts of the world, but is most prevalent in India and China.
In general, the societies that practice female infanticide show other signs of gender bias including child marriage and sex-selective abortions. The more patriarchal the society, the more atrocities on women. In these societies, girls are more likely to be malnourished, more likely not to be treated for illnesses and more likely to be illiterate.

Female infanticide has multiple reasons. In traditional Chinese and Indian cultures, men are valued more because of their economic potential and the likelihood that they will take care of aging parents, while women are considered as ‘parayadhan’, or ‘someone else’s property.’ Taking care of a girl child has been compared to ‘watering someone else’s garden.’ A daughter will move to her husband’s house after marriage and will not help with her own parents’ care. What’s horrendous is that women will often perpetrate such atrocities on their own daughters an daughters-in-law, firmly believing that the male heir is inherently more valuable.

Fighting for Tara by Sunanda J. Chatterjee

An important consideration, of course, is the dreadful custom of dowry. Not only is a girl child less helpful in bringing income, when she is married off, the parents must pay unreasonable sums as dowry, which often bankrupts the family. 

A son, on the other hand, will earn money and provide for the family and will bring in dowry when he gets married.

In that context, the same cultures encourages child marriage; they are really ‘getting rid’ of their girl child. She is an extra mouth to feed and drains family resources and will not provide economic benefits later on.

Many societies also believe that it is the son who will perform the last rites and if there is economic hardship, the male child will be given preference.

What’s most astounding is that female infanticide or sex-selective abortions are also prevalent in middle and upper classes in India.

But in general, female infanticide is more an economic issue than a religious one since all religions condemn the practice.

Thus, ‘dowry,’ the chief economic challenge for families, is a huge contributor to the problem of infanticide.

Sunanda J. Chatterjee is the author of “Fighting for Tara”. Grab a copy of her novel from the link below:

https://www.amazon.in/Fighting-Tara-Sunanda-J-Chatterjee-ebook/dp/B01H9BS428

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav

http://www.stayfoolish.in

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Life lessons @ My mother at 66 by Kamala Das

I have always stepped back for a moment when I get reminded about this poem – My mother at 66″ by Kamala Das.

“I saw my mother, beside me,

Doze, open mouthed, 

her face ashen like that 

Of a corpse”- Kamala Das

I always wondered if only people who could read & comprehend could only become wise. But then I realised that that need not to be the case.

We can learn a lot more by simply observing closely. 

Kamala Das_wiki

“My mother at 66” is such a proof. Was it Kamala Das first to pained to see her mother aging?

Of course, not. We all feel that. We all go through that pain sometimes.

So, Kamala Das just put in words her feelings on paper. May be she thought about it deeply. May be it was difficult for her to let go off the imprint of her mother aging. 

I’m no different. I too feel such pain sometimes. May be that’s human nature. But it inspires me sometimes.

Nature loves renewal & replacement. One day I’ll get replaced & that’s how we give place to younger generations.

There is lot more to learn from nature. It is mysterious & to understand how it works is possible only through deep observations. 

How often do you take out time to observe nature & your surroundings?

In fact, all the life lessons you read in books are derived from nature. Why shouldn’t we observe it if it can change our life completely? 

Don’t read the books if you hate doing that. Don’t listen to anybody if you loathe it.

But observe nature. She is the ultimate teacher.
With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav

http://www.stayfoolish.in

How measurements in time can revolutionise your life?

Let’s look at time with a new angle. We waste time as we have it in unlimited quantity.

On the other hand, we save money as if it is limited. While the reality is just the opposite. 

See, you can make billions in your lifetime but you cannot increase your span of time on Earth.

Time is the best scale to make decisions_wiki


Make measurements wrt time.

So, isn’t that a better scale to measure wrt time?

Let’s suppose you want to buy a luxury car & currently it costs 30L then you shouldn’t start working to save that much amount of money.

Instead you must begin to calculate how much time will it require for you to achieve that goal. Keep the time factor as a central point.

Better decision making.

As a rule of thumb, if you start your journey at entry-level job in IT Sector then after 40 years of excellent service your salary would have rose to around 35L per annum. I have highlighted the “excellent service” for a reason. Excellent service means that you would work on weekends when everyone would be enjoying, you will put your best of the best efforts to get excellent feedbacks from your clients on the project you might be working on, you will do every bit to the company to get promoted, etc.

Is that worth?

40 years to get to the level of 40 LPA?

This time when you go to your city no matter how small it is interact with local business-owners. Many would be earning more than 40LPA. The only thing is that they don’t get the limelight. Ask them since how long they are in this business? The probable answer would be 15-20 years.

So, which option is best suited for you?

Working on weekends to get promoted or to work for yourself?

Observe closely that by the end of this blog post, I have levelled the money you would be earning in a year & the point of difference is only time. In former case it is 40 years & in the later case it is 15-20 years.

When people think it a big risk to drop “1 year” after 12th or graduation & say पूरा एक साल बरबाद हो सकता है then I don’t get why they agree to waste consciously or unconsciously 20 years that too working for someone else.
With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav

http://www.stayfoolish.in

How I used Facebook to learn business communication skills? 

No one can disagree that the world has become a global village. Communication has become more simpler & easier than ever.

A year back I started connecting with people on Facebook with a personalised message- I’m a blogger at http://www.stayfoolish2day.wordpress.com & would love to connect with you in order to learn more.

Use fb to develop your skills.


And that revolutionised the way I used to communicate. When you talk to a person who has 20-30 years experience in IT sector, or an acclaimed author or a successful business owner then one thing happens- you borrow some words or style of writing from them. 

I do not have any problem if you call that copying. The simple reason is that what if you copied from 100+ people?

You will become versatile to some extent if you maintain your individual creativity while communicating with others.

Why is it advised to mingle with people from various cultures?

Over time unknowingly it develops your cultural intelligence. Same happens to your communication skills- they get polished & a tinge of professionalism appears.

Since then it was through copying that I learned how to write impressive e-mails, how to communicate over phone, how to communicate over WhatsApp for businesses purposes, etc.

Even as a writer I can tell you that the books you read often have an impact on your style of writing. It’s copying sub-consciously. 

So, go get into the world. Copy from many but retain your individuality. You will see how better your skills have got since then- it would be a huge change!
With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav

http://www.stayfoolish.in

I will clean the toilet.

I read a book 2 years ago. It taught me one of the finest lesson for start-ups.

It said that when you are the owner of a company then the ultimate responsibility is yours. If the person who was supposed to clean the toilet goes missing suddenly on a very important day then if you don’t find anyone who could clean the toilet then it’s you who has to do it.


Reputation.

At the core of the successful start-ups & businesses lies reputation. It takes years to build positive reputation. You cannot afford to malign it at any cost.
So, if you have to clean the toilet- you should. No harm in that.

Entrepreneurship is difficult. Anything can happen.

You employees may exit from your company at a time when you need them the most. There might be many projects pending. What would you do in such a situation?

You would have to either find someone else who could do that & if you don’t you have to do it by yourself. You have to meet the deadlines anyhow. Else your reputation goes down.

That’s how entrepreneurship is! Cruel. Difficult. Yet fun-doing.

The core guiding philosophy in my journey as an entrepreneur has been that “I’ll clean the toilet”.

Just as I carry my own reputation as an individual in a similar way much of the company’s reputation is my responsibility.

So, my advice to all budding entrepreneurs is that plunge into entrepreneurship only when you have convinced yourself even to clean the toilet. Believe me there won’t be any worse day then that. Even if it comes you’ll manage somehow.

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav

http://www.stayfoolish.in

How people you meet @ college decide your destiny instead of the college itself?

College has predominantly three pillars- faculty, students & infrastructure.

In most cases what shall change your destiny is the people-to-people connect at the college.

Faculties will keep teaching what they taught 10 years back (mostly) & infrastructure doesn’t gets changed abruptly & remains the same for long.

What really is the peer-to-peer connect @ college?

3-4 years is a long-period of time. You will get to know many people personally & this will help you in better understanding of the world. You will get to learn many new perspectives from your peers. These shall form the part of the learnings @ college campus.

Peer-to-peer connect at college_wiki

What is more interesting is the learnings @ after campus life.

After 3-4 years from your graduating day you discover that:

One of your friend got selected in civil services, another got a prize for innovative start-up in an international event, yet another has become an acclaimed writer, etc.

No matter how well you are doing in your life these success stories from your friends & seniors shall motivate you as well. The reason is simple – you have spent time with them. You know how they were.

In engineering jargon,

अरे! ये तो वही है जिसे में Exam के आखिरी दिन पढ़ाता था। If He can then I too can do it.

हा हा! He is no smart by any means. अबे! मेरे ही रूम में रहता था दिनभर।

It is a great pleasure to see people who have lived with you succeeding. That’s the best thing your friends & seniors can give to you.

Since, you have seen your peers being crazy & still reaching the pinnacles of success in later life makes you believe that इतना कठिन नहीं है जितना लोग बोलते हैं। That’s a positive development in you. It helps you to take the first step in faith & the rest that takes place is bound to be a part of History.

So, faculty & infrastructure of your college have miniscule impact on you once you graduate. But your college friends & seniors shall have an impact on your life for long may be life-long.

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav

http://www.stayfoolish.in

Review of “Rightfully Wrong Wrongfully Right” by Varsha Dixit

“Rightfully Wrong Wrongfully Right” by Varsha Dixit is a nice read. It is full of moments of laughters, surprises and twists & turns which keeps the reader amused.

The character Viraj is very uniquely plotted. He is introvert most of the times involved in his work yet another time can be seen passionately into sex.

“Rightfully Wrong Wrongfully Right” by Varsha Dixit

Story @ “Rightfully Wrong Wrongfully Right”

Viraj is a crazy scientist who is bored with his life- as nothing new was happening in his life!

Until Gayatri steps into his life to get him hook with Sana.The story gets very interesting from here. It gets studded with many light moments.

Gayatri is a brave girl. She is funny yet witty. Will Gayatri be able to get Sana fall in love with Viraj?

Will the story have a happy ending? 

Or Gayatri will mess up all the things?

To know more grab your copy of “Rightfully Wrong Wrongfully Right” by Varsha Dixit through the link below:

http://www.amazon.in/Rightfully-Wrong-Wrongfully-Right-Varsha/dp/8129141973

Best moments @ “Rightfully Wrong Wrongfully Right” by Varsha Dixit



▪ “Everyone has more downs than ups. All it takes is one big successful “up” and all the “downs” are ancient History”.

▪ “This is how you fight, a kiss on the cheek?”

▪ “Why fight small battles & lose big wars?”

▪ “Thank you! I could not have done this without you all”.

Eh! Filmfare award speech!, Nandini teased.

▪ She could make money off cutting ribbons.

▪ “If yiu are trying to open the door telepathically, let me be the first to tell you it is not working!”

▪ “This paperweight is a reminder of my past. A reminder of why I have to succeed”.

Life lessons @ “Rightfully Wrong Wrongfully Right” by Varsha Dixit

▪ Entrepreneurship is always not about ideas many times it’s about the innate skills you have. Remember, the cupcakes?

▪Trust people but always allow for an “element of doubt”. Viraj kept few more CCTV cameras & that made his life easier but who knew it will? But the point is it does.

▪Everything  can be re-built. Believe in time. It can make enemies friend & friends foe.

And the best esp. for women as Viraj said, “whoever provides for you, decides for you.” i.e. take financial independence seriously!

I rate the book as 4/5.

With Great Love,
Er. Amit Yadav

http://www.stayfoolish.in

How you must enjoy your college life?

College life is certainly the best part of your life (*until & unless in your job you get to do what you love to do which is quite rare).

Live a life you wanted. Unrestricted. Crazy. Joyous.

▪ Don’t ever get disappointed. 

These are the best days of your life. Don’t do things unwillingly. Somehow believe in your destiny that it will lead you to what you want to achieve when you shall start working hard.

I appeared for an interview of ViVo Mobiles in the final year & I tried to negotiate for 30- 40K per month of salary which they were reluctant to offer. It was obvious that my name won’t figure out in the list of short-listed candidates. It was true! In between 30-35 candidates were selected out of around 100 & I wasn’t one of them.

FGIET, Rae Bareli_wiki

But presently almost no one is doing that job. So, it hardly mattered if I bagged that job or not! So, always remain cool.

I sat in for the college placements of Idea Cellular but couldn’t go beyond the technical round. Surely, it did felt bad for few minutes as I had come up prepared- well dressed, with an updated CV, etc. & the day ended fruitless. 

Now, after few months – it all hardly matters because I know I can make more money out of “what I love to do” than working for a job that I would have despised.

▪ Life can be re-built.

You will see some people succeeding amongst you. Don’t get bogged down. Still, follow your passion. It was in the 3rd year that I became fascinated about blogging. I was not a pro-writer. But since I liked doing it I continued it till the end of my college (*appeared for GATE & various other exams for namesake). It were a tough decision to have made my mind to continue blogging when everyone was preparing for GATE.

Though I worked hard for may be 14+ hours but it never yielded much results. Still I continued in the hope that even if I fail miserably I can always re-built my life with hard-work.

So, always have faith in your hard-work. Not just in the present hard-work you might be putting in but what you are capable of & shall be putting in the future. I believed in the work I shall be putting in the future. 

Take risks. 

As much as you could. This is the best time. Fail as much as you could only the condition that must be met is you are working-hard.

Your whole life lies ahead to tread on the ordinary life. Give yourself a chance to follow the path that seems unbelievable & unthinkable to you. Something which seems miraculous to you.

P.S. 1- Believe in miracles! They do happen with ordinary people like you & me.

P.S. 2- You just need confidence to succeed in life. Even if you succeed in elevating your confidence level by the time you step out of your college life the  irrespective of what you did in your college life- you will achieve great success in life! 
With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav

http://www.stayfoolish.in

I want to see tears in my parents eyes.

I wish to see tears in my parents eyes. Every one must live to see that golden day in his/her life.

Such moments occur may be once or twice in the entire life.

I’m taking about the “tears of success” which shall fall from the eyes of your parents when you achieve something great in your life. Small success don’t have the power to make that happen.

Can that happen when you land up a job in an MNC?

I want to see tears__wiki

No. Very rare (*only when your chances of getting the job was extremely low)

Can having a beautiful girl as a girlfriend do that?

No. (*it can only increase their tension only- पता नही कैसी पसंद होगी गधे की )

So, what thing could bring that miraculous moment to your life?

When you do something worthwhile with your life. Something big. They have high expectations from you.

So, don’t play small. Don’t just work-hard. Work-hard to the extremes.

Once you would have worked to that level nothing would be difficult for you any longer. Nothing.

Few people can work-hard to the extremes as and when required. All other quit. They know just one thing – quit.

But as a brave person- you must rise & shine.

Melt yourself with the desires & expectations of your parents. They want to see you reach to the zenith.

Have you already taken the first step?

Or will you take the first step today?

Or you will go to sleep today as well as you do each day- बहुत Boring था। चलो सो जाते हैं। कल से मेहनत करेंगे ।

This is the day- 16th September, 2016. Let’s work for 16th September, 2017. It’s possible by then.
With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav

http://www.stayfoolish.in

Life lessons from a man who worked 14+ hours a day.

You cannot work hard for 14+ hours a day for a long-time without having hit the rock-bottom.

Generally, such responses have their genesis in pain which could have resulted from breaking of relationships, lack of money even for sustenance or too many failures in a row.

There is something beautiful about failures, break-ups & penury. They make you helpless. It is then you learn how to cope up with adversities, how to uplift yourself & how to reconcile. 

It’s hard. Damn hard!

But once you overcome them you are a transformed man. You would never like sitting back at home & resting.

Lessons that I learned from working 14+ hours for few years in a row:

1. You are living at extremes.

14+ hours a day is a big number. Don’t assume it to be an easy task. Since you are working very very hard so cycles of failures & successes shall increase sharply.

Necessary for new office.

It’s no longer a normal life. Quite fast-paced! You can compare your life with a safari zooming with a cyclist in his top speed which represents normal life.

In normal life you may face setbacks after months or years. But in a fast-paced life you will be confronted to failure rates as high as each day.

The message I wish to convey is that you will be more frustrated than ever! You will be more disheartened than ever! On the other side, you will be beaming with happiness. That’s the point. 

2. You will never feel bored.

I don’t even use my whole flat! Just confined to my room most of the time. I go only to kitchen to fetch food & drink water. That is my room is my office. I start working as I wake up. There is no time for sleeping as I keep on taking lots of naps in between. They range from few minutes to an hour.

But I never feel bored. So much to do. Something or the other thing comes into my way & demands my attention.

3. You will achieve things faster & think what’s more.

This is the darkest side. Since you achieve more relative to others so this might keep popping into your mind “What’s more?”.

4. You may seek escape.

This one is tricky. There shall be a constant urge to escape from the life you are living (in a similar way the private employees feel- Monday blues). Urges may knock at your door every 15-20 days. You may literally have a strong desire to settle one day at a distant village- out of this chaotic life. No cars, no buses, no people,  just you, enjoying & living with meager resources! 
With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav

http://www.stayfoolish.in