Guest blog post on “How to revive relationships when it is need of the hour?” by Summerita Rhayne

Here’s a guest blog post by Summerita Rhayne on “How to revive relationships when it is the need of the hour?”

Although I’m an author and not a relationship expert *smile* I’d attempt to answer this.

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Guest blog post by Summerita Rhayne

I’m intrigued by your phrase ‘need of the hour’. When do you decide that you ‘need’ a particular relationship? Is it upto us to wait for some opportune moment and then decide to revive a relationship? It is not. And much of this truth is echoed in my book ‘More Than Just Desire’. You cannot steer relationships according to your own whims because the other person has a mind and will of their own and they may not wait while you decide what is important to you. Let me ask you. Can you help the way you feel? No. So, if you can’t control your own emotions, how can you control the emotions of other people. However, you can try to improve your impression and that you can do by your actions. If you continuously show a person that they are important to you, they can make a place for you in their life. Again, it’s totally upto them and not an obligation on their part. You cannot force anybody to feel in any particular way.
To get to this in detail, I’d like to discuss here the physiology of emotions.
Emotions are perceived in an area of the brain called the limbic system. This area has very few connections with the thinking part of the brain called as cerebral cortex. So emotions are to a large extent independent of our thinking ie our rational mind. Your thoughts may tell you that a certain person behaves well with you and you must like them. But you might still feel anger or dislike towards them because of the way your limbic system is wired. Compounding that, other areas of the brain respond to rewards ie factors which produce pleasant feeling in us and punishment…you guessed it…factors which produce unpleasant feelings in us. These areas have connections with emotion areas and produce what we call as instinct. Hence instinctive dislike is not under the control of our mind. So reviving a relationship is in large part also dependent on the other person. Whether their emotional areas are favourable to you or not. What you can do is what is under your control i.e. your motor area or your actions. You can show by your actions that you care for a person. As it is often said, love is a verb. So, concentrate on doing but be prepared to face disappointment too. It’s a part of any relationship.
……
Having come this far a little more about the physiology of love.
During our growing up years all of us are conditioned to form barriers against love. It is true. Even though there is an infinite capacity to love, in each of us, still because of these barriers we are not able to love as we would like to. In some people this conditioning is against almost everyone and these people are very difficult to get along with. But in most well adjusted people, this is mostly discovered only when we are in a romantic relationship. That is because love of a romantic nature requires a sort of commitment without guarantee of security that we can expect from other relationship e.g. blood relationships. The conditioning tells us not to accede to certain demands that may be made on us or to put down the other person in a certain way or to resist making them the center of attention. The more conditioned a person is, the more difficulties they face in maintaining a love relationship. Love requires a surrender of the sense of self completely and most of the time that is an impossible task to attempt for any long length of time. However, we can do it in small doses, which is why love and romance is sizzling and intriguing in the initial stages but gradually becomes jaded or simply a burden. To ‘revive’ a relationship, it is necessary to realize first what makes us hold back. Why a stage has come that we have to revive and not just maintain it? Until we overcome our own barriers, we cannot start working on others’ barriers which is necessary to make any relationship work.
Hope this helps in providing an answer to your question.
Thank you again for inviting me to share my thoughts. 🙂

Impressed with your answer. To great extent we are conditioned to form barriers as we wish to avoid hurt & pain. It reminds me of Jim Carrey’s quote:

“To find real peace you have to let the armor go. Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world”.

Those in search of happiness have to run the risk of getting hurt, betrayed & yet again standing up until one finds what one is looking for.

………………

Summerita Rhayne is the author of “More than just desire”. You can get the copy of “More than just desire” by following the link below:

https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Just-Desire-Contemporary-ebook/dp/B0179U58YG

We at stayfoolish.in, wish Summerita Rhayne ma’am good luck for her future endeavors.

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav
http://www.stayfoolish.in

Life is easy..!

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Don’t advice.

Don’t advice.

Early twenties is the age when most youngsters reach to maturity. Never lend an advice to a person who is of more than 20 in age. As by this age people develop sufficient understanding of life to differentiate between what’s real & what’s fake & what’s necessary & what needs to be ignored.

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Don't advice.

Refrain yourself from lending advices. Many a times it may be tempting because you really care for a person. But still what others do is no longer an act of ignorance rather it’s their decision.

If someone is ruining his/her life- it’s a decision because he/she is very well aware of it. Why to waste your words over people who don’t even give their minimal efforts to convert advices into actions?

Also, implement & experiment your advices on yourself & to your life.
Give complete freedom to people to go on their journey as they have chosen it.

Another aspect is that you may be wrong at times. As a human being with time we all have categorized what’s good & what’s bad for ourselves based on our perception & experiences in life.

-some regard money as top priority so they value it the most
-some regard prestige as top priority so they value it the most
-some regard relationships as top priority so they value it the most
-some regard their work as the top priority so they could be found engaged in it most of the time
So, everyone has defined his way of life.

You only have power over your life. Meddling with others preferred way of life would be an encroachment to their rights. Everyone has just got one life so has complete freedom on to decide how he/she wants to life.

PS- Don’t advice until it is called for.

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav
http://www.stayfoolish.in

Life is easy..!

A gift is an equalizer.

A gift is an equalizer.

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A gift is an equalizer.

>Help.
If you are asking for a help then presenting a gift in lieu of it is a dignified way to seek help. If you are an engineering graduate then you will find it easy to understand.
What happens when you assist a senior or does some of his work? You become eligible for a treat. That is one way of making others efforts count.

>Sense of gratitude.
If you are overwhelmed by someone’s caring & affection then gift can be given as an epitome of genuine love.
Never use gifts as a flattery tool. The better strategy is to work-hard & being consistent with your performance.

Gifts are meant only for special people. If you give it to everyone then you are tarnishing its value.
The most cherished gifts are earned along the journey. It could be giving your time, attention, care, feeling of togetherness & being affectionate.
You can always buy tangible gifts. Intangible gifts are the best ones. Recall how beautiful you felt when you were sad & someone motivated you to rise again. You will cherish such things life-long.

As John Keats said, “A thing of beauty is joy forever”.

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav
http://www.stayfoolish.in

Life is easy..!

Become a well.

Become a well.

Become a source rather than being a sink. Let the thirsty come to you to quench his thirst.
Even if you are a good person & wish to extend help to the people around- never go out to help.
The problem is that people will not take your assistance seriously. Also, you got to help not the ones in need but deserving. Deserving is the first & foremost condition.

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Become a well.

>Let them find you.

If you are an asset to the society then folks who wish to support you in your endeavors will find you. We are not as inaccessible as people believe to be. Keep doing the good work. Have faith in your hard-work & dedication. People will flock to you.

>Become incredibly better at “something”.

You can then guide “new entrants” in the field. You can work on specific projects. Mastery is rare these days due to distractions like social media, partying culture, etc.
So, mastering one skill is the key to success in the present era.

Your stay on Earth is limited. You cannot afford to live with people who don’t deserve you.
If you are a giver then keep yourself aloof from takers. They are mere suckers. Stay away from them. A “well” is a non-living entity. It doesn’t have the choice to decide the deserving. You are a living being & have to offer services to only deserving.
If you are willing to help people out then you may just serve as an “easy target” to get instant help.

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav
http://www.stayfoolish.in

Life is easy..!

Book Blitz of “More than just desire” by Summerita Rhayne

A Passionate Romance 

by 

Summerita Rhayne 

More Than Just Desire

Blurb 

The Bollywood diva who ran away

Piya walked out of an explosive situation three years ago. She married Arfaaz for security but left him facing chaos she created. Now she’s back in Bollywood and searching for the crown she gave up when she ran away. In the competitive world of starry glamour, the only way she can begin her career anew is to trash the past and get a divorce.

The man who wants her atonement
Arfaaz is determined to get his revenge on Piya for making a farce of their marriage and leaving him to face the mudslinging. He forces her to keep up the appearances and stay with him so she can play the loving wife and repent on her sins. But Piya drives him crazy with her antics. On the top of that, the attraction between them sizzles and threatens to make him forget reason.

A passionate conflict

Piya knows she has lessons to learn but she cannot let this man enter her heart. There is too much to risk and she cannot afford to forget the real reason she has come back. Success is her mantra and her worship. She can be faithful to only her goal…

Prologue







The limo slid through wrought iron gates and came to a stop in front of the entrance of the huge house designed like an ultra modern Italian villa.







‘I’m not getting out here. I’ve booked a room and I want to go to my hotel.’ She averted her gaze and stared straight ahead as Arfaaz held the door open. 







For answer, he paused. An inhalation expanded his chest, drawing her unwilling gaze. He’d discarded the ridiculous narrow jacket and the white dress shirt drew taut against his pectorals, sending something threatening and alien coiling through her. 







The next moment he’d swooped down and picked her up, taking advantage of her inattention. 







His hands went under her as he gathered her in his arms as easily as he would a bird in his hand. She had to duck her head to escape the side of the car and then he was slamming the door shut with a foot kick. 







‘How dare you!’ She flailed at him furiously, pent-up frustration escaping. ‘Let me go. Now!’







He was warm, too much so. She found her throat clogging for some unknown reason. 







Before she could react anymore, he let her slide down, but she was struggling and squirming so much, she lost her balance and fell, smack against his body. 







He stepped back as though she burned him and mortification swept over her skin at the implied rejection.  







‘You can’t force me to do what you want!’ she bit out, breathless from effort. 







‘I’ll get what I need to know out of you anyway I can.’







‘What do you want to know? Why am I here? Okay, I’ll tell you. It’s to lay down this ghost between us. This meaningless tie…’ She made a gesture to denote contempt and tipped up her chin at him. ‘I want a divorce, Arfaaz. And I want it as quickly as possible.’







‘Very well.’ The soft agreement dropped in the silence with thunderous force, like a rock thudding down from the mountain. ‘Don’t doubt it, Piya. You’ll get it.’

Grab your Copy @



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or grab this book free at #KindleUnlimited 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR 







Summerita Rhayne writes contemporary and historical romance with lots of emotional conflict. She first got published in 2013 and has won contests with prestigious publishers such as Harlequin and Harper Collins India. She firmly believes if the inspiration is strong enough, the story characters will find a way to make the writer pen them down, even when writing time is in short supply. When cerebrally confronted with the sizzling interaction of two Alpha characters, the only way to get peace is write their book!

At heart, she’s a family person and even though she loves her medical teaching profession, she happily becomes a homemaker when not at work. She loves winding down with music, romcoms, cricket (strictly watching only) and social networking.

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With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav
http://www.stayfoolish.in

Life is easy..!

What content-writers cannot afford not to learn?

What content-writers cannot afford not to learn?

The job of content-writers is perceived to be easy. It is believed that folks with good writing skills can become consummate content-writer. The reality is far from what people believe.
Content writing is one of the most challenging jobs.

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What content-writers cannot afford not to learn?

If you are writing a historical article then it has to be written in a manner that lovers of History shall enjoy reading. Your write-up has to be supported with relevant facts.
If you are writing a technical stuff then you have to write in a style that nerds are accustomed of. You have to refrain from using jargon or making it too general.
When writing for general public you have to avoid using flowery & complex language.
So, the point here I wish to make is that content-writers have to be very careful about the use of vocabulary, writing style & manner of presentation.

>Audience specific
You have to hone your skills to a level that you can write beautifully as per the audience demands. You can improve only when you start writing for a particular website on specific topics. They could be on lifestyle, health, fashion, motivation & so forth.

>Vocabulary
Each industry has its own jargon. With time you have to inculcate industry specific words. An expert reading your article will appreciate it only when it would be unambiguous & coherent.

>Research
Before you begin writing do your own research. Search out some good books & websites. Then use your logic & reasoning to take a standpoint. Write key points & later on just expand them.

>SEO
There is huge demand for SEO friendly content-writers. So, you cannot just write what you wish to. You have to keep in mind what audience might be looking for.

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav
http://www.stayfoolish.in

Life is easy..!

Be like Sun.

Be like Sun.

Sun is the ultimate source of energy. Biomass which is the result of photosynthesis by autotrophs actually converts the energy of the Sun.
Wind results from the radiation of the Sun which can be harnessed as Wind Energy.
Tidal Energy results from the combined Gravitational pull of the Sun & the Moon. Solar energy is directly derived from solar radiations via PV cells. Ocean Thermal Energy is obtained due to differential heating of the upper surface (hot) & lower surface (cold) to different degrees by the Sun.
In a way non-conventional energy resources are manifestation of the Sun’s radiation.

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Be like Sun.

Be like Sun. Be the most important driving force in life. Assume the responsibility & don’t just get dragged by the external forces.

Just as the rays of the Sun gently touches the lives of millions of living beings in the similar fashion let your presence be felt.
Let it touch, affect & improve the life of people where ever you go.

Your presence on Earth is not merely a coincident. So, make it count. Shine each day like Sun with brilliance & let the positive vibes in you serve in inspiring people around the globe to follow their dreams & live a meaningful life.

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav
http://www.stayfoolish.in

Life is easy..!

Why success begets success?

Why success begets success?

Folks who attend prestigious graduating institutions perform fairly well in life. The reason behind that is “Success begets success”.

-1st Success.
Cracking a competitive examination at an early age is indicative of the will-power, maturity & the ability to delay gratification in order to realize one’s dreams.
The people who graduate from premier institutions of the nation have achieved their first success. This success alone cannot promise a very bright future. But certainly they have ability to work-hard & remain focused for more time than majority.
So, it serves as an edge over others wherever they go.

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Success begets success.

-Your surroundings.
Your 1st success enables you to grow in an environment which is healthy & supports new ideas. It can be a life changing experience to get associated with people who are believed to be the cream of nation in their respective fields of study. The logic is that they think differently & are passionate about something. This passion is contagious. Hence, it creates an aura of “pursuing one’s dreams” as it is possible.
When you live in an environment where dreams are treated as impossible & risky it becomes hard to stick to your dreams as the journey at least requires 3-4 years of hard-work.

-Connections.
Not all graduating engineers are going to remain in the same field. Not all graduating doctors are going to remain in the same profession. Many will switch their profession out of various complex circumstances of life (*sometimes people use the word- Calling for it).
So, if you are from a premier institution then you will have connections in all nearly fields- writing, health-care, bureaucracy, journalism, etc. So, you can reach out to them whenever you need any information related to their field.

>What if you don’t study in any premier institution?

Strengthen your will-power. You don’t need connections & external environment to do fairly in life. You just need to get self-motivated. That will override everything else. So, stay positive & keep working hard.

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav
http://www.stayfoolish.in

Life is easy..!

How I wrote 2 lakh words on my blog?

How I wrote 2 lakh words on my blog?

Writing becomes easy once you start liking it. I started writing with daily goal to jot down 500 words each day. On most days I succeeded in accomplishing the daily quota of writing.
Initially it was hard. With passage of time it became easy-going. Next goal is to practice creative writing. I shall be brushing up with my skills so that I succeed in writing an enthralling & captivating novel.
Mostly I wrote on motivational stuff. So, haven’t yet achieved a good level in describing scenes & characters.

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How I wrote 2 lakh words on my blog?

>How to achieve something BIG.
If you want to achieve something BIG then break that BIG into smaller daily goals over 2-3 years.
Once you have fixed your daily quota don’t think about future. Just focus on fulfilling daily quota.
On some days you must work-hard more because there shall be days when you won’t be able to achieve your daily goals.

Suppose Reading lots of books is your long-term goal. You can break this long-term goal as to read 1 BOOK IN EVERY 4 DAYS.
To your amazement you would have read over 90 books in a year!
That’s the power of EACH Day. The best way I have known to get better at anything is by doing it each day.
So, what is it that you wish to get better at?
Is it writing? Then write each day. Is it public speaking? Devote from few minutes to few hours each day to practice the art of public speaking.

Don’t wait. Just start your journey from today!

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav
http://www.stayfoolish.in

Life is easy..!

How many “NO” you will recieve on the path to your dreams?

How many “NO” you will receive on the path to your dreams?

It depends upon your dreams. The bigger your dreams- the more shall be the number of failures. So, get comfortable with NO’s & failures. In order to achieve your dreams you will first need to achieve your goals successfully. You will fail multiple times. But each time you will have to convince yourself to get up & start again.

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How many NO you will receive on the path to your dreams?

If you wish to marry a beautiful & outstanding girl- first you have to be outstanding!
If you wish to earn 20K p.m. then with little efforts you can make that sum of money monthly. But if it is 2 L p.m. then you will have to engage in self-learning & will need to acquire the requisite skills & that shall be time-taking.

If you wish to be number 1 in your field then you have to do what you do with so much passion & energy that no one in your field puts in.

No one can change your destiny. Only you can!
Irrespective of how many NO’s life throws back at you. Never keep improving & working upon your dreams.
More the NO’s you receive more closer you get towards your dreams (*the only condition is that you have worked on improving your strategy & put in lots of hard-work).

With Great Love,

Er. Amit Yadav
http://www.stayfoolish.in

Life is easy..!